a flame designated in our deep space,
a set to strike down on this bloody earth,
to pin strike on all of our human race,
and only restart can make our rebirth.
desolated, isolated in jail,
as flames burn images of hell to clouds,
kiss of fire make my new prison hell,
the dead flakes their skin with burning fleshy crowds,
i wait a hero from these Litton flames,
to save me from this one room of darkness,
light my path with your fiery two tails,
take me to your keep my heroic flame.
raise the flames of your pride, make will with me,
infest me with you lust and ecstasy,
a reborn of life after skis shake hail,
take me to eternal of fantasies.
Monday, February 22, 2010
My Goal And My Thoughts
A goal to me in life is to live it as normal as ever because i just want to be normal through what can be expressed and understand. Things created in life always have a purpose and if not then I believe faith would have to take them somewhere. Deep inside my desire is giving joy and acceptance. Some could think I'm crazy or wimpy from my feelings inside are that i don't show it but it's a good path for me.
I'm not a waste of life life some who say they will kill them self's and I'm not them kind of person who will push them too. Libelers, Pervs, and all of what kind of people who are destroying the life of even America I despise or hate. Example, what is the reason for a young teen making a choice to have sex and getting pregnant... I believe they shouldn't exist.
I'm not a waste of life life some who say they will kill them self's and I'm not them kind of person who will push them too. Libelers, Pervs, and all of what kind of people who are destroying the life of even America I despise or hate. Example, what is the reason for a young teen making a choice to have sex and getting pregnant... I believe they shouldn't exist.
The Senses Unit
Sounds - Wind blowing, sea gulls flapping , wood in the boat crackling as it is still. Water waves splashing harder as a storm approaches. Wind begins to whistle across my ears as the keys in the ignition jingle. Rain hits the deck continuing a path forwarding across the back, flags flapping, lawn chairs sliding against the wooden floor. Waves crashing flipping and spinning the boat. I begin to to the door my shoes slipping on the deck. Wood breaking down crashing splashes and under water bubbles as i rise to the surface alone and lost at sea.
Touch - She's furry, loving and smart. Stands half a foot tall black on top white on bottom. Gives the prettiest purrs to ever hear. Ears sink in of beg and sadness and hair stands in fear and madness.
My cat Lovey. (AKA Kelly)
Site - Sun set. A mix of fiery colors in glow and going down and decreasing bit by bit minute by minute. It brightens the day and makes the blue in the sky but at the moment feel the day getting cooler as it sets and sinks drinking in the right fading with shades of red, orange and pink. Round but bigger than a circle and hotter than lava.
Taste - The taste of oil and boil, gooey like slime and grime. I couldn't tell what was worse, it's round greenish hot or it's buttery rot. A taste so bad my stomach began to tear, oh the daring vegged taste was unfair.
Brussels Sprouts.
Smell - The smell of gasoline, my favorite smell of all because whenever I smell it near by with a mix of greasy oil and ole wd40 I know I'm coming closer to my Power Equipment class, my favorite class in school.
Touch - She's furry, loving and smart. Stands half a foot tall black on top white on bottom. Gives the prettiest purrs to ever hear. Ears sink in of beg and sadness and hair stands in fear and madness.
My cat Lovey. (AKA Kelly)
Site - Sun set. A mix of fiery colors in glow and going down and decreasing bit by bit minute by minute. It brightens the day and makes the blue in the sky but at the moment feel the day getting cooler as it sets and sinks drinking in the right fading with shades of red, orange and pink. Round but bigger than a circle and hotter than lava.
Taste - The taste of oil and boil, gooey like slime and grime. I couldn't tell what was worse, it's round greenish hot or it's buttery rot. A taste so bad my stomach began to tear, oh the daring vegged taste was unfair.
Brussels Sprouts.
Smell - The smell of gasoline, my favorite smell of all because whenever I smell it near by with a mix of greasy oil and ole wd40 I know I'm coming closer to my Power Equipment class, my favorite class in school.
Autobiography Poem
First Name - Anthony.
4 Traits - Honesty, Trustworthy, Wise and Patient.
Son or Daughter of - Floyd and Melanie
Lover of - My own talent and my sweet ballroom dancer.
Who Feels - Adrenaline for every morning.
Who Needs - Someone to protect.
Who Gives - Attention and help.
Who Fears - Sins.
Like to See - A non global warming.
Resident - Wheeling West Virginia Fowler Rd. Apt 903.
Last Name - Thompson.
4 Traits - Honesty, Trustworthy, Wise and Patient.
Son or Daughter of - Floyd and Melanie
Lover of - My own talent and my sweet ballroom dancer.
Who Feels - Adrenaline for every morning.
Who Needs - Someone to protect.
Who Gives - Attention and help.
Who Fears - Sins.
Like to See - A non global warming.
Resident - Wheeling West Virginia Fowler Rd. Apt 903.
Last Name - Thompson.
My Vice and Virtue Line of Sins
A.Vice.
1.Sex.
2.Alcohol.
3.Drugs.
4.Lying.
5.Betraying.
6.Evil Worshiping.
7.Destruction.
8.Murdering/Raping.
9.Stealing.
10.Molestation/Masturbation.
11.Promise breaking.
12.lustful.
13.Greedy.
14.Gluttony.
15.Sloth.
16.Wrath.
17.Envy.
18.Pride.
19.To Pros pond.
20.Being Under The Influence.
B.Virtue.
1.Chastity.
2.Temperance.
3.Charity.
4.Diligence.
5.Patience.
6.Kindness.
7.Taking Humility.
8.To Up stand or Stand Up For.
9.Care.
10.Bravery.
11.Love.
12.Abstinence.
13.Above The Influence.
14.Respect.
15.Loyalty.
16.Neatness.
17.Truthful/Honesty.
18.To Sacrifice for Others Good.
19.Self or Outer self Independence.
20.To Have Love With One And Only One Person of That Right Extreme Choice.
1.Sex.
2.Alcohol.
3.Drugs.
4.Lying.
5.Betraying.
6.Evil Worshiping.
7.Destruction.
8.Murdering/Raping.
9.Stealing.
10.Molestation/Masturbation.
11.Promise breaking.
12.lustful.
13.Greedy.
14.Gluttony.
15.Sloth.
16.Wrath.
17.Envy.
18.Pride.
19.To Pros pond.
20.Being Under The Influence.
B.Virtue.
1.Chastity.
2.Temperance.
3.Charity.
4.Diligence.
5.Patience.
6.Kindness.
7.Taking Humility.
8.To Up stand or Stand Up For.
9.Care.
10.Bravery.
11.Love.
12.Abstinence.
13.Above The Influence.
14.Respect.
15.Loyalty.
16.Neatness.
17.Truthful/Honesty.
18.To Sacrifice for Others Good.
19.Self or Outer self Independence.
20.To Have Love With One And Only One Person of That Right Extreme Choice.
Haiku, Linquin, Tankas.
Driving cars high speed,
The major death of all teens,
Living lives been lost.
Death note,
Bloody sadness,
Last few words write for death,
Lonely in the dark full room,
He dies.
Speechless wonders show,
I wait by your side talk less,
I hold your hands tight,
Drifted in curiousness,
Quiet and wonderfully.
Where is my love,
Where is my hope,
Where is my reason to live?
When will you leave your cage?
When will you turn the page?
When will you open the the gate ready to fly, ready to fly fir me.
I can feel it now,
You make it real some how,
When will you fight all your hate?
Ready to fly, ready to fly for me.
When will you learn to fly?
When will you touch the sky?
When will you kill your sarrow?
The world is yours.
When will you reach the moon?
When will you drop the spoon?
When will you kill your sarrow?
The world is yours.
When will you break the spell?
When will you leave your cell?
When will you open the door?
Ready to fly, ready to fly for me.
I can feel it now,
You make it real some how,
When will you start to explore?
Ready to fly, ready to fly for me.
When will you come undone?
When will you touch the sun?
When will you kill your sarrow?
The world is yours.
Moving silently in the darkness,
Through the deadness of the night,
Coming all together now,
To where the vampires unite.
A flash of fangs and blood shed,
Victims upon the floor,
Rising up to join them,
External life forever more.
Prowling through the shadows,
These lonely creature of the night,
They've slowly come together now,
This is where the vampires unite.
The major death of all teens,
Living lives been lost.
Death note,
Bloody sadness,
Last few words write for death,
Lonely in the dark full room,
He dies.
Speechless wonders show,
I wait by your side talk less,
I hold your hands tight,
Drifted in curiousness,
Quiet and wonderfully.
Where is my love,
Where is my hope,
Where is my reason to live?
When will you leave your cage?
When will you turn the page?
When will you open the the gate ready to fly, ready to fly fir me.
I can feel it now,
You make it real some how,
When will you fight all your hate?
Ready to fly, ready to fly for me.
When will you learn to fly?
When will you touch the sky?
When will you kill your sarrow?
The world is yours.
When will you reach the moon?
When will you drop the spoon?
When will you kill your sarrow?
The world is yours.
When will you break the spell?
When will you leave your cell?
When will you open the door?
Ready to fly, ready to fly for me.
I can feel it now,
You make it real some how,
When will you start to explore?
Ready to fly, ready to fly for me.
When will you come undone?
When will you touch the sun?
When will you kill your sarrow?
The world is yours.
Moving silently in the darkness,
Through the deadness of the night,
Coming all together now,
To where the vampires unite.
A flash of fangs and blood shed,
Victims upon the floor,
Rising up to join them,
External life forever more.
Prowling through the shadows,
These lonely creature of the night,
They've slowly come together now,
This is where the vampires unite.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
My Proposal
Notice this was just a practice with a girl friend.
Anthony - Kirubagari In power of my love as you know it. I love you to a eternity.
You are a scar in my heart my life my actions my will and my future
Kiru :' |
Anthony - With all this power I gratitude my self to you
to love you to the end of what never ends to be there when you need me to be your savior a father a worker your crying shoulder
your support and all.
When I put these things together I feel happy with you. Your the excite of my life. You gave me fun out of purity I could never reach.
You have stabled me you inspire me with your greatness. I only have one favor for you.
Kirubagari...Will you marry me?
Kiru - of course O_O
*4 months in relationship lol. Shes so worth it all <3*
Anthony - Kirubagari In power of my love as you know it. I love you to a eternity.
You are a scar in my heart my life my actions my will and my future
Kiru :' |
Anthony - With all this power I gratitude my self to you
to love you to the end of what never ends to be there when you need me to be your savior a father a worker your crying shoulder
your support and all.
When I put these things together I feel happy with you. Your the excite of my life. You gave me fun out of purity I could never reach.
You have stabled me you inspire me with your greatness. I only have one favor for you.
Kirubagari...Will you marry me?
Kiru - of course O_O
*4 months in relationship lol. Shes so worth it all <3*
Heroism (Lasy Pas Post)
Heroism, somthing to make people notice you by fame or to be noticed by savior. I think every one should have a hero because who can't. I'v always wanted to be a hero to someone or maybe I am, I'm not sure i would have to ask sombody. I know I'v done a lot of good tings for certain people speaking of my gernerosity and loyalty in love, but even though I did do some things it's not as close to becoming publically known. Of corse I'll kindly take a blame for someone I care about, save there life from death or injury, and keep them out of trouble.
I'm always there for a person but I think I'd have to try for a person who I bearly know because I think I'm that shy.I think I'v saved someones life probably about once or twice who know, an everyday action could be saving an aliens life because things do happen accedentally.
Nothing thatI have a bog fan for comic books and such but it would be fun to be a hero one day especially with popularty and making friends with the enemy and living the life of an animated person with superpowers like super sights, speed, strength, intelect, telekinesis abilities, flyingd and stuff.
How great wuld it be to take a bullet to your pupal and bend the bullet and not make a scratch on your eye.
I'm always there for a person but I think I'd have to try for a person who I bearly know because I think I'm that shy.I think I'v saved someones life probably about once or twice who know, an everyday action could be saving an aliens life because things do happen accedentally.
Nothing thatI have a bog fan for comic books and such but it would be fun to be a hero one day especially with popularty and making friends with the enemy and living the life of an animated person with superpowers like super sights, speed, strength, intelect, telekinesis abilities, flyingd and stuff.
How great wuld it be to take a bullet to your pupal and bend the bullet and not make a scratch on your eye.
Why Fridays are good
Today is a friday and occasionally the best day of the week if you have an agenda figured out, I dont.The best things about fridays and this friday schools out for the weekend and it's earthday and prom is tomarrow. If the school sports team are lucky on play days they party a lot and every one feels good. Pay checks come in friday and people are out shopping. Theres sleep overs, getting high, drunk or laid, basicly the things I'm good at staying away from.
I'm not the out going kinda person unless asked phisically and as long as I'm going with someone i trust and am comfurtable with. Usually ever two or three weeks my home family are right outside getting drunk like hell around the fire, me I just stay inside sense anything they do dos'nt catch my interest so I just do some of my hobbys and ect. like playing ps3 or the wii, watching movies on dvd or high def on deman, blogging , writing, reading, I'ming and calling friends, playing my guitar and working on my music collection.
Today is alsow my good friend ang's birthday. Not really the best person to make friends with i suppose at some times but I try to keep her straightened out with advice. The last few days she keeps telling me about these boys shes had in my dream and I'm just like let them go and all I really had't a care for it really.
When we got to school today it started to rain again like the last past days but todays was better. Todays the rain was nice and splashy and the lightning was bright and loud as the sun arose in the early blinding morning.
I always love going to school on fridays because it's always test day and I usually have nothing to do so I just stdy and study. By the end of the day I'm happy and proud of my seccesful grades I'v made.
I'm not the out going kinda person unless asked phisically and as long as I'm going with someone i trust and am comfurtable with. Usually ever two or three weeks my home family are right outside getting drunk like hell around the fire, me I just stay inside sense anything they do dos'nt catch my interest so I just do some of my hobbys and ect. like playing ps3 or the wii, watching movies on dvd or high def on deman, blogging , writing, reading, I'ming and calling friends, playing my guitar and working on my music collection.
Today is alsow my good friend ang's birthday. Not really the best person to make friends with i suppose at some times but I try to keep her straightened out with advice. The last few days she keeps telling me about these boys shes had in my dream and I'm just like let them go and all I really had't a care for it really.
When we got to school today it started to rain again like the last past days but todays was better. Todays the rain was nice and splashy and the lightning was bright and loud as the sun arose in the early blinding morning.
I always love going to school on fridays because it's always test day and I usually have nothing to do so I just stdy and study. By the end of the day I'm happy and proud of my seccesful grades I'v made.
Samanthas Birthday
I'm far beyond doing anything today exept act my casual hyper dissorderd self. All I can think about today is that it's the twenty third of April, My beloved Samantha's birthday. She was a far off fiend who lived in London, England.
Shes not here today and never will again. She died two months after her siteenth birthday from the loss of blood. I don't havemuch friends here and I don't plan on making any either. It's nothing to do with race, religion or style because i have no use in nothing like thoughs.I don't hate the world and i don't see the point in saying it.Earth just sucks anymore. We've got serious pollution problems, gold diggers, democrats with greed, sexists people and whore mongers. Every century gets worse.
Teenagers getting pregnant, kids who honestly have no sense till the age of twenty five. You can easily see why I keep myself locked from the world. I only make some friends that are good to me just to pass the time, But I really wish I could just get out of here. Beinga major loner with my self and all surrounded by idiots, noobs and posers, I seem to have closer friendships with people at long distance from me.
My first best friend I had ever had and made was Christina Rosella Parker. I met her in the seventh grade. I one loved her so much, but now I feel so lossless with her every day. My second best friend I had ever met was Samantha. I met her sometimes in my later sophmoure year, thats college over there.
People might not know much about me but I have more good friends out in the worldthan just here. Samantha was my true dream girl. She was my enthusiasm, embracement and true love. Everything I knew about her and what made me want to love her made each one of my next girlfriends jelous as hell. Her purity was as good as mine. I was so in love with her that every day i could'nt help not saying a phrase or sentance with out being romanticly poetic, she loved it so much.
She was five foot four inches, Probably somewhere around one hundred pounds, sixteen years of age, black long silk hair, big brown adorable eyes, and pale skin like an albino.But it was'nt the looks that matterd, it was all just her.
One week went by by and I was away and had not heard of her. When i finally got the chance I found one of her sent messages to tell me to get on as soon as possible. I waited another week but still no sam.Three months went by and i began missing her sadly. After such a long time one of her friends finally got into contact with me and had told me Samn said I love you anthony always and forever and this may be hard but i want you to move on..I'll be waiting for you.
I didn't understand what was going on then I asked her. Where is she I asked. Anthony..shes not here she said. Well when you see her tell her I really miss her and that I love her too. Anthony she said again.Samanthas dead...
There was a moment of silence maybe eve for the whole day after and even the next three days I did nothing but think about her in bed doing..nothing. One night I went to sleep on the couch no one was home for like a week so why not. I couldn'to to sleep till the night after. That night had struck me. I stayed up laying awake on my couch just thinking, till seven in the morning I finally snapped. I rolled off the couch screaming into tears and yelling why why why. I didnt kinow what els to do with my self, I had never felt so much pain before in my life. The girl of my dreams has left me with a slit to the wrist. For the rest of the seven months I cryed and slowly getting better but holding memory inside, I dont ever wanna forget her...
*Her birthday is one day after my gf's which is the same day I met my gf o.o...what faith*
Shes not here today and never will again. She died two months after her siteenth birthday from the loss of blood. I don't havemuch friends here and I don't plan on making any either. It's nothing to do with race, religion or style because i have no use in nothing like thoughs.I don't hate the world and i don't see the point in saying it.Earth just sucks anymore. We've got serious pollution problems, gold diggers, democrats with greed, sexists people and whore mongers. Every century gets worse.
Teenagers getting pregnant, kids who honestly have no sense till the age of twenty five. You can easily see why I keep myself locked from the world. I only make some friends that are good to me just to pass the time, But I really wish I could just get out of here. Beinga major loner with my self and all surrounded by idiots, noobs and posers, I seem to have closer friendships with people at long distance from me.
My first best friend I had ever had and made was Christina Rosella Parker. I met her in the seventh grade. I one loved her so much, but now I feel so lossless with her every day. My second best friend I had ever met was Samantha. I met her sometimes in my later sophmoure year, thats college over there.
People might not know much about me but I have more good friends out in the worldthan just here. Samantha was my true dream girl. She was my enthusiasm, embracement and true love. Everything I knew about her and what made me want to love her made each one of my next girlfriends jelous as hell. Her purity was as good as mine. I was so in love with her that every day i could'nt help not saying a phrase or sentance with out being romanticly poetic, she loved it so much.
She was five foot four inches, Probably somewhere around one hundred pounds, sixteen years of age, black long silk hair, big brown adorable eyes, and pale skin like an albino.But it was'nt the looks that matterd, it was all just her.
One week went by by and I was away and had not heard of her. When i finally got the chance I found one of her sent messages to tell me to get on as soon as possible. I waited another week but still no sam.Three months went by and i began missing her sadly. After such a long time one of her friends finally got into contact with me and had told me Samn said I love you anthony always and forever and this may be hard but i want you to move on..I'll be waiting for you.
I didn't understand what was going on then I asked her. Where is she I asked. Anthony..shes not here she said. Well when you see her tell her I really miss her and that I love her too. Anthony she said again.Samanthas dead...
There was a moment of silence maybe eve for the whole day after and even the next three days I did nothing but think about her in bed doing..nothing. One night I went to sleep on the couch no one was home for like a week so why not. I couldn'to to sleep till the night after. That night had struck me. I stayed up laying awake on my couch just thinking, till seven in the morning I finally snapped. I rolled off the couch screaming into tears and yelling why why why. I didnt kinow what els to do with my self, I had never felt so much pain before in my life. The girl of my dreams has left me with a slit to the wrist. For the rest of the seven months I cryed and slowly getting better but holding memory inside, I dont ever wanna forget her...
*Her birthday is one day after my gf's which is the same day I met my gf o.o...what faith*
My Dream
My dream was like the same dream i had atleast 5 months ago. It was a creepy one too, like up your spine creepy. At first it started out aa I was in a mans bathroom. A man that had seemes so fermiliar to me some how. I was sneaking in his house one night. I was in the second floor just bye the book shelf near the stairs searching for somthing, but i don't exactly remember.
While searching threw the books quietly I noticed a very rare to my eyes type of advanced wrist watch. Clumsyly when i picked it up the alarm ringed on with loud beepings. At that point I had found what I was looking for but cannot remember the image or even what it was.
So I quietly ran down the stairs and out the door. By that time I got out of lights site my heart was on fire. I might have gotten away but somthing told me he knew someone was there.
The second part of my dream had more charecters in it. I didn'y know anyones name exept for my brother being in it with me and the only people i could clearly see was my brother and the girl in the back seat in the row to my left of my 7th period 20-21 century class with Mrs.Nicholes. Me and her wern't close, not even friends, or so i think it was her. We were driving down a road just on a little trip and chit catted along the way.
We pulled over to a side of a freezing cold river and had a nice warm bonfire in the snow. After more talking we decided to take a little walk and my brother came to while the other 2 girls stayed till it was time to go. We talked more on our way down the road and i ended up stoping everyone spotting a strange wicked blue house just around the cold turn.
Behinde us came the girls beeping at use,C'mon it's time to go the driver said. comming she said. At fast i grabbed her by the arm do you have to go? you sure you cant just walk with me? I asked. my house is only 5-6 miles down the road. No sorry not tonight anthony she said cuddling up to me. alright I'll see you soon then I said huging her close smelling the warmth and laundry of her cotton filled jacket.OK she said jumping her arms behind my neck and kisses me quickly. She held onto my hand softly, Cya she said.
She got into the car and waved at me. I waved back but quickly turned around and started walking.. wondering, as if I might have known her for a good while or if we were dating....or if.
As me and my brother kept heading twards the house cutting threw the yar, it was like we planned to do somthing a few hours before. Somthing eadged to me like there was somthing I am literally looking for. We snuck in the house. I still dont know how i ended up in the bathroom but we started searching threw his cabinet in his coffee tablesd and found stacks of smelly inc news papers.
When i told my brother to go to the kitchen i noticed the stairs there he went up to the kitched. I sneaked slowly to the stairs knees bent in a way as if i had some serious rememberance with this house. To my left was a kitchen and on my right a bathroom and the bedroom. So i stood and thunk a bit and decided to go up the stairs.
On the second floow I found a book shelf and felt shocked and felt the case as I had felt it before. All of the books were put in the same place even the book in front of me staring at it witha blank look. It was the same book I had threw down looking for whatever.
I took the book out and lad it on its back and moved all of the other books away from the spot of where the red book was. When i looed in it there was nothing there. So I stood and thunk some more like what the hell am i doing, Would my brother know? I asked my self.
Just as i was ready to leave I heard a crackling in the wood on the floor. I leaned over the book shelf slowly to see what it was and my first sight was an old man waring a blue robe with blood over his right leg part of it and an ax flying twords at my face. I jumped back shocked out of my minde and shefted to my left against the wall.
with onl three feet of space the man was comming at me with an ax. My eyes were wide open and everything was so intence I could have sworn i was having an adrenaline ruch. He swung the ax at me one more time directly into my chest aiming for the heart. Luckly for me the blade was very daul enough that it only had enough power to throw me out the second floor window.
When i hit the ground I was cold and stunned head to toe and could't make a budg even if i tryed, I couldn't even feel my chest. Before I blacked out the last thing i could remember was being dragged acrossed the ground by someone and they were yelling at me not being able to tell what they were saying as if they were screaming threw a pile of heavy clothing.
*Would you believe that girl looks just like my gf =\..*
While searching threw the books quietly I noticed a very rare to my eyes type of advanced wrist watch. Clumsyly when i picked it up the alarm ringed on with loud beepings. At that point I had found what I was looking for but cannot remember the image or even what it was.
So I quietly ran down the stairs and out the door. By that time I got out of lights site my heart was on fire. I might have gotten away but somthing told me he knew someone was there.
The second part of my dream had more charecters in it. I didn'y know anyones name exept for my brother being in it with me and the only people i could clearly see was my brother and the girl in the back seat in the row to my left of my 7th period 20-21 century class with Mrs.Nicholes. Me and her wern't close, not even friends, or so i think it was her. We were driving down a road just on a little trip and chit catted along the way.
We pulled over to a side of a freezing cold river and had a nice warm bonfire in the snow. After more talking we decided to take a little walk and my brother came to while the other 2 girls stayed till it was time to go. We talked more on our way down the road and i ended up stoping everyone spotting a strange wicked blue house just around the cold turn.
Behinde us came the girls beeping at use,C'mon it's time to go the driver said. comming she said. At fast i grabbed her by the arm do you have to go? you sure you cant just walk with me? I asked. my house is only 5-6 miles down the road. No sorry not tonight anthony she said cuddling up to me. alright I'll see you soon then I said huging her close smelling the warmth and laundry of her cotton filled jacket.OK she said jumping her arms behind my neck and kisses me quickly. She held onto my hand softly, Cya she said.
She got into the car and waved at me. I waved back but quickly turned around and started walking.. wondering, as if I might have known her for a good while or if we were dating....or if.
As me and my brother kept heading twards the house cutting threw the yar, it was like we planned to do somthing a few hours before. Somthing eadged to me like there was somthing I am literally looking for. We snuck in the house. I still dont know how i ended up in the bathroom but we started searching threw his cabinet in his coffee tablesd and found stacks of smelly inc news papers.
When i told my brother to go to the kitchen i noticed the stairs there he went up to the kitched. I sneaked slowly to the stairs knees bent in a way as if i had some serious rememberance with this house. To my left was a kitchen and on my right a bathroom and the bedroom. So i stood and thunk a bit and decided to go up the stairs.
On the second floow I found a book shelf and felt shocked and felt the case as I had felt it before. All of the books were put in the same place even the book in front of me staring at it witha blank look. It was the same book I had threw down looking for whatever.
I took the book out and lad it on its back and moved all of the other books away from the spot of where the red book was. When i looed in it there was nothing there. So I stood and thunk some more like what the hell am i doing, Would my brother know? I asked my self.
Just as i was ready to leave I heard a crackling in the wood on the floor. I leaned over the book shelf slowly to see what it was and my first sight was an old man waring a blue robe with blood over his right leg part of it and an ax flying twords at my face. I jumped back shocked out of my minde and shefted to my left against the wall.
with onl three feet of space the man was comming at me with an ax. My eyes were wide open and everything was so intence I could have sworn i was having an adrenaline ruch. He swung the ax at me one more time directly into my chest aiming for the heart. Luckly for me the blade was very daul enough that it only had enough power to throw me out the second floor window.
When i hit the ground I was cold and stunned head to toe and could't make a budg even if i tryed, I couldn't even feel my chest. Before I blacked out the last thing i could remember was being dragged acrossed the ground by someone and they were yelling at me not being able to tell what they were saying as if they were screaming threw a pile of heavy clothing.
*Would you believe that girl looks just like my gf =\..*
My Dark Corner
I hold it secret to my self till I'm alone
A spot in my minde I use to hide my soul
The empty space with no knowledg unshining the chrome
With the only color easyest to see smoking coal
As usual it is my space of despair
The same place without any temperature exept my fury and hatred
Hungerless hours to sit but mostly cry from a painful tear
nothing les but to try to be unbraded
Lied and deceived with preassure gathering it's dark
Holding my face on fire hiding like a criminal
Not teling if I'm either burning inside out she did this spark
so far in now I enjoy this isolation free filling of disearnable
Drept away in colors taken over by black again
With black fire this coal in black can be lit
Hope to burn in my ritousand harly able to mend
I can possible still fit.
A spot in my minde I use to hide my soul
The empty space with no knowledg unshining the chrome
With the only color easyest to see smoking coal
As usual it is my space of despair
The same place without any temperature exept my fury and hatred
Hungerless hours to sit but mostly cry from a painful tear
nothing les but to try to be unbraded
Lied and deceived with preassure gathering it's dark
Holding my face on fire hiding like a criminal
Not teling if I'm either burning inside out she did this spark
so far in now I enjoy this isolation free filling of disearnable
Drept away in colors taken over by black again
With black fire this coal in black can be lit
Hope to burn in my ritousand harly able to mend
I can possible still fit.
The Unknownity
People cry out that no one can understand, people complain about how worthless their lives are, people whine about the things they had lost when they argue making sadness seem like a competition of who has it the worse and honestly I don't care.
People discriminate one another ,lie, cheat, make ruthless jokes and put words into torture tat makes others want to scream the worst things at them. People are lying to them self's about not understanding. What they don't understand is the feeling of deep carelessness and lost devotion from building up to much happiness, when happiness builds so does anger, enough anger to die inside and force yourself to be someone else your not, an anger enough that with one slip your mind feels like an explosion as if your bi polar without actual bi polar.
I want to kill but I want to save, I want to destroy but I want to use, I want to make your life hell inside a box you can't escape but I want to know I can love, I make the most unusual sins but I am a non Christianity saint, I want to die but I want it to hurt, I want it to go away but it feels great enough to get me off my feet, I want to feel alone, I want you to shut up but still talk to me, I want you to ignore me but I want you to stand by me, I want you to hold me but I want you to beat me.
This feeling that can not be put into words, it's everything and everything I do, what ever is wanted the opposite is wanted the most but does not want to make a move. People say I need help but i think I'm doing just fine without it, I ask you for help but all I really ask for is for you to hate me. People will never understand me, I am not scared, sad, mad, or in love, these are just the things I know how to do and to keep my self a part of one environment. I adopt fast so don't expect me to be someone you think or say I am, I am not permanent.
Fun to depressed but I am ok so shut up leave me alone don't go. Mad or sad cry is to heal then hate builds again, then again careless I am like an endless line of hims sign that I have curved into and made it a swerve.I'm the reason you stay and go, hate, love, talk to or abandon either me or them. I'm still alive and well so burn me if it is you're limit. In the end when all is done accomplished or failed my life is still peacefully quiet thanks for either me or you causing to speak nothing to me, thank you for your disgust.
What do I do then, well that depends on you're moves, can you make me physically hurt my self from skin to blood instead of threatening my self, of course you can't. Why doe's it feel so good to hurt by something unwanted like fattening yet desiring chocolate that's irresistible but I rest and do not care as if it's just a new good feeling for me. Some can make me so bad that with just a look at me and when others say they don't care who hates or despises them well I do because I only feel more alive, alive enough to make forgiveness and to make love and friends again.
Theirs things people do but don't realize the outcome of the damage like pin pointing the right path to someone who has the N/A ability to not use it and again just build that anger either from annoyance or stupid corrections to the wise.
*Still believes*
People discriminate one another ,lie, cheat, make ruthless jokes and put words into torture tat makes others want to scream the worst things at them. People are lying to them self's about not understanding. What they don't understand is the feeling of deep carelessness and lost devotion from building up to much happiness, when happiness builds so does anger, enough anger to die inside and force yourself to be someone else your not, an anger enough that with one slip your mind feels like an explosion as if your bi polar without actual bi polar.
I want to kill but I want to save, I want to destroy but I want to use, I want to make your life hell inside a box you can't escape but I want to know I can love, I make the most unusual sins but I am a non Christianity saint, I want to die but I want it to hurt, I want it to go away but it feels great enough to get me off my feet, I want to feel alone, I want you to shut up but still talk to me, I want you to ignore me but I want you to stand by me, I want you to hold me but I want you to beat me.
This feeling that can not be put into words, it's everything and everything I do, what ever is wanted the opposite is wanted the most but does not want to make a move. People say I need help but i think I'm doing just fine without it, I ask you for help but all I really ask for is for you to hate me. People will never understand me, I am not scared, sad, mad, or in love, these are just the things I know how to do and to keep my self a part of one environment. I adopt fast so don't expect me to be someone you think or say I am, I am not permanent.
Fun to depressed but I am ok so shut up leave me alone don't go. Mad or sad cry is to heal then hate builds again, then again careless I am like an endless line of hims sign that I have curved into and made it a swerve.I'm the reason you stay and go, hate, love, talk to or abandon either me or them. I'm still alive and well so burn me if it is you're limit. In the end when all is done accomplished or failed my life is still peacefully quiet thanks for either me or you causing to speak nothing to me, thank you for your disgust.
What do I do then, well that depends on you're moves, can you make me physically hurt my self from skin to blood instead of threatening my self, of course you can't. Why doe's it feel so good to hurt by something unwanted like fattening yet desiring chocolate that's irresistible but I rest and do not care as if it's just a new good feeling for me. Some can make me so bad that with just a look at me and when others say they don't care who hates or despises them well I do because I only feel more alive, alive enough to make forgiveness and to make love and friends again.
Theirs things people do but don't realize the outcome of the damage like pin pointing the right path to someone who has the N/A ability to not use it and again just build that anger either from annoyance or stupid corrections to the wise.
*Still believes*
If I Ruled The World
If I Ruled The World, Things would be less money worth because all anyone wants is money and their greed. There would be less taxing and more charity for the people. I would rid the world of drugs and alcohol and either split apart the people who agree and dis agree or kill and burn the ones who dis agree, except for medicine of course. Every one would have their own religion or stereo type as they like but they shalt not bow down to their rules or gods but only pray and give thanks to them.
As a ruler my first intention would be is to kill off the UN exceptions along with my own line of vice sins. So there would only be purity and virtue sins. These are the things that are corrupted and have destroyed great reason for the earth. The right to speak would be even higher and widespread after i had cleaned up the mess of Des agreement. Everything would be on a law of ID control and under my control of law of purity and abstinence. Toughs who will break this rule will only be forgiven three times depending on the action they have done especially their abstinence, they shall be put to death.
My ultimate rain would be the largest genocide ever.
- 1 year later -
..... yeah that was before I was..yeah xD lmao. It be cool though o.o. Nice ending.
As a ruler my first intention would be is to kill off the UN exceptions along with my own line of vice sins. So there would only be purity and virtue sins. These are the things that are corrupted and have destroyed great reason for the earth. The right to speak would be even higher and widespread after i had cleaned up the mess of Des agreement. Everything would be on a law of ID control and under my control of law of purity and abstinence. Toughs who will break this rule will only be forgiven three times depending on the action they have done especially their abstinence, they shall be put to death.
My ultimate rain would be the largest genocide ever.
- 1 year later -
..... yeah that was before I was..yeah xD lmao. It be cool though o.o. Nice ending.
The Open Emotion Event (Past Post)
the open emotion event.
The most emotional even in my life know so far and people don't know it but i still feel deep in stress that every minute I'm in this class being reminded of the feelings, I just want to have a breakdown of tears. my last two months have been the worst and it was all so unexpected.
First off every morning day and night I would get things done real quick so I could get on the computer to talk to all my long distance friends and honestly I think I love them more than my close friends because when I'm talking to people of a type that are rare to find I feel comfortable, especially when I made a best friend/ pen pal and maybe even a girl friend because to me even if something is either for or near I believe distance doesn't matter and cant beet love.
My best friend, We use to talk forever when we got the chance even if it met getting up at five AM in the morning because she was hours ahead of me, I even did it during school days. But anyways getting to the point, her name was Samantha Lee Blair and she was the kind of person not a lot of people like and i felt sorry for her, I'd do anything to help her even if it meant traveling there.
She had always told me how much of a smart, poetic, charming, caring and on and on stuff kinda person i was and even told her I love her from the heart, but also in time, in time of love forever till the end of what never ends, my favorite line to a woman like her.
About a few months later things started getting worse and a week later I started to get worried about her because we hadn't talked for a while. On that very day she left me a message online saying that she needed to talk to me immediately and that it was really important, but at the time i was busy so I didn't have the time to talk.
Abut a month later her friends got online and searched for me forever just to tell me...the girl of my dreams was dead..*starts to cry* and had killed her self, bleeding out blood in a bath room from her wrist by razor blades.
All I did after that was cry and screamed like I never would before. After so I talked to my parents about it and they worried about me. My depression was so deep I couldn't sleep so i stayed up on the couch in the living room just sitting there starring off and thinking things far beyond what I ever have bfore about life and death and belief, thoughts that could give others heart attacks as it had given me pain due to my horrible inflammatory.
I sat for 7 hours without movement till i finally blew into tears again and finally gave into my will and work and started slowing don in school more but faith was still there with me. every day or weekend or so something would happen or someone would say something that reminded me of her in every way and I'd cry for just a bit.
And to make things worse while in my depression my girl friend jessica got pregnant on me which unremittingly made her UN pure for me anymore, and at the same time i was fighting with her and my best est friend but that's another story to tell. *Sorry for no spell check* ;D
The most emotional even in my life know so far and people don't know it but i still feel deep in stress that every minute I'm in this class being reminded of the feelings, I just want to have a breakdown of tears. my last two months have been the worst and it was all so unexpected.
First off every morning day and night I would get things done real quick so I could get on the computer to talk to all my long distance friends and honestly I think I love them more than my close friends because when I'm talking to people of a type that are rare to find I feel comfortable, especially when I made a best friend/ pen pal and maybe even a girl friend because to me even if something is either for or near I believe distance doesn't matter and cant beet love.
My best friend, We use to talk forever when we got the chance even if it met getting up at five AM in the morning because she was hours ahead of me, I even did it during school days. But anyways getting to the point, her name was Samantha Lee Blair and she was the kind of person not a lot of people like and i felt sorry for her, I'd do anything to help her even if it meant traveling there.
She had always told me how much of a smart, poetic, charming, caring and on and on stuff kinda person i was and even told her I love her from the heart, but also in time, in time of love forever till the end of what never ends, my favorite line to a woman like her.
About a few months later things started getting worse and a week later I started to get worried about her because we hadn't talked for a while. On that very day she left me a message online saying that she needed to talk to me immediately and that it was really important, but at the time i was busy so I didn't have the time to talk.
Abut a month later her friends got online and searched for me forever just to tell me...the girl of my dreams was dead..*starts to cry* and had killed her self, bleeding out blood in a bath room from her wrist by razor blades.
All I did after that was cry and screamed like I never would before. After so I talked to my parents about it and they worried about me. My depression was so deep I couldn't sleep so i stayed up on the couch in the living room just sitting there starring off and thinking things far beyond what I ever have bfore about life and death and belief, thoughts that could give others heart attacks as it had given me pain due to my horrible inflammatory.
I sat for 7 hours without movement till i finally blew into tears again and finally gave into my will and work and started slowing don in school more but faith was still there with me. every day or weekend or so something would happen or someone would say something that reminded me of her in every way and I'd cry for just a bit.
And to make things worse while in my depression my girl friend jessica got pregnant on me which unremittingly made her UN pure for me anymore, and at the same time i was fighting with her and my best est friend but that's another story to tell. *Sorry for no spell check* ;D
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Blue Screen of Death
So it has a name... =|.
I've had the blue screen of death 4 times =| 1 from just random, 2 nortons anti virus messing up, 3 nd 4 from my cruzer flash drive trying to boot it's program that comes with it and crashing. but the last 2 times I was able to save my computar my taking the battery out fast enough.
Try this to save your Data:
Data Recovery:
1. Slave your Hard Drive in another computer, and read/save your Data from there.
2. Put your Hard drive in a USB Hard Drive Enclosure, plug into another computer, and read/save from there.
3. Or, use Knoppix Live CD to recover your Data:
http://www.knopper.net/knoppix/index-en.html
Download/Save the above Knoppix Live CD ISO file.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://isorecorder.alexfeinman.com/isorecorder.htm
Download the Vista Burning software from the above link.
After installing above ISO burning software, right-click on Knoppix ISO file > Copy Image to CD.
Knoppix does not install on your PC; just uses your PC's resources, RAM, Graphics, etc.
Change the Boot Order in YOUR computer/laptop to make the CD/DVD Drive 1st in the Boot Order.
Plug in a Flash Drive/Memory Stick, BOOT with the Live CD, and you should be able to read your Hard Drive.
When the desktop loads, you will see at least two hard drive icons on the desktop (one for your hard drive and one for the USB drive).
Click on the hard drive icons to open them up and figure out which drive is which.
Right-click the USB drive icon and choose "Actions > Change read/write mode" so you can write to the drive (it's read-only by default for security reasons).
Now find the files you want to back up and drag and drop them to the USB drive. When you are finished, shut down the system and remove the USB drive.
Cheers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mick Murphy - Microsoft Partner
I've had the blue screen of death 4 times =| 1 from just random, 2 nortons anti virus messing up, 3 nd 4 from my cruzer flash drive trying to boot it's program that comes with it and crashing. but the last 2 times I was able to save my computar my taking the battery out fast enough.
Please pay atention people.
If you ever...EVER! get this screen.
Unplug all powercords/ batteries from your computar.
It only gives you a limited aount of time to do so till it counts up to 100 and completly destroys everything in your possesion.
But if you fail this then your only hope is getting it fixed by a technician, re-installing from cd boot if you have one, or rent or buy another computar if your that lost. But you can still*If you know what your doing* take the HD out and slave it by USB to another computar to try and get your items back.
Heres some help I found from a Microoft partner.
Try this to save your Data:
Data Recovery:
1. Slave your Hard Drive in another computer, and read/save your Data from there.
2. Put your Hard drive in a USB Hard Drive Enclosure, plug into another computer, and read/save from there.
3. Or, use Knoppix Live CD to recover your Data:
http://www.knopper.net/knoppix/index-en.html
Download/Save the above Knoppix Live CD ISO file.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://isorecorder.alexfeinman.com/isorecorder.htm
Download the Vista Burning software from the above link.
After installing above ISO burning software, right-click on Knoppix ISO file > Copy Image to CD.
Knoppix does not install on your PC; just uses your PC's resources, RAM, Graphics, etc.
Change the Boot Order in YOUR computer/laptop to make the CD/DVD Drive 1st in the Boot Order.
Plug in a Flash Drive/Memory Stick, BOOT with the Live CD, and you should be able to read your Hard Drive.
When the desktop loads, you will see at least two hard drive icons on the desktop (one for your hard drive and one for the USB drive).
Click on the hard drive icons to open them up and figure out which drive is which.
Right-click the USB drive icon and choose "Actions > Change read/write mode" so you can write to the drive (it's read-only by default for security reasons).
Now find the files you want to back up and drag and drop them to the USB drive. When you are finished, shut down the system and remove the USB drive.
Cheers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mick Murphy - Microsoft Partner
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Give, Give In, Or Tell.
Did you see the opera Winfrey show with the 4 child molestors invited to her show to
question them when why how and what? yeah, she was perfect for the job. Wonder how those guys feel now.
She calls it the most honest conversation she's ever had with sex offenders. Oprah sits down with four admitted child molesters for a frank, graphic discussion about their crimes.
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Oprah-Talks-to-Child-Molesters-Part-1-Video
After I had watched this part I had made a discovery coming from one of them. There are men hiding in the shadows but 90% are not. Most rapes and molestations happen easily by a relationship with the child then being a stranger because theres trust. Most of the men who do their job well somehow manipulates the child to like it and or not give into it. Another free reason for me to say..."WELCOME TO AMERICA!".
Saying something that can probably be offensive to some people; but I come with an honest feel for truth and a major warning and worry.
-Quote-
"Worry for whose in the shadows, but more woried for what hides behinde their shadow".
WARNING
In case you feel or think there is something going on - Look for signs that the child or person seems neglected, unattained, or mostly unsocial especially when the child or person is a close contact with the offender. A noticable change in some sort, drop in grades, and when the victims admits LISTEN TO THEM a child would never lie about these things.
Some offenders get caught, but continue and sometimes they continue roughly.
Prison, home bound, and help for these problems help those who can seem most emotional but very sick.
The men who continue roughly I say shouldn't get it easy with help be nurtured down below and if I may release my hate with in.. even the cruelest forbid what I would do to any of them. Then again...Why had victims given in so easily.. Maybe some female systems being very emotional can go so far as having a sexual need for attention and like it as long as the offender does not harm them unfairly. That kinda sickens me with that rule the offended use..Your basically a drug wjem your turning yourself that way.
question them when why how and what? yeah, she was perfect for the job. Wonder how those guys feel now.
She calls it the most honest conversation she's ever had with sex offenders. Oprah sits down with four admitted child molesters for a frank, graphic discussion about their crimes.
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Oprah-Talks-to-Child-Molesters-Part-1-Video
After I had watched this part I had made a discovery coming from one of them. There are men hiding in the shadows but 90% are not. Most rapes and molestations happen easily by a relationship with the child then being a stranger because theres trust. Most of the men who do their job well somehow manipulates the child to like it and or not give into it. Another free reason for me to say..."WELCOME TO AMERICA!".
Saying something that can probably be offensive to some people; but I come with an honest feel for truth and a major warning and worry.
-Quote-
"Worry for whose in the shadows, but more woried for what hides behinde their shadow".
WARNING
In case you feel or think there is something going on - Look for signs that the child or person seems neglected, unattained, or mostly unsocial especially when the child or person is a close contact with the offender. A noticable change in some sort, drop in grades, and when the victims admits LISTEN TO THEM a child would never lie about these things.
Some offenders get caught, but continue and sometimes they continue roughly.
Prison, home bound, and help for these problems help those who can seem most emotional but very sick.
The men who continue roughly I say shouldn't get it easy with help be nurtured down below and if I may release my hate with in.. even the cruelest forbid what I would do to any of them. Then again...Why had victims given in so easily.. Maybe some female systems being very emotional can go so far as having a sexual need for attention and like it as long as the offender does not harm them unfairly. That kinda sickens me with that rule the offended use..Your basically a drug wjem your turning yourself that way.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Something Worth Trying?
Hello there friend, readers or whatever you may be.
Today (2/7/10) I decided to sign up for blogger as my girl friend had begged me.
So she says I'm expressive; but I don't know. Maybe I am or maybe she just thinks I am so will see about it when I get further into my blogging.
I'd like to start off with how my weekend has been. This week has been cold, snowy, horrid, and wreckfull ever since that 18 inches of snow came. I'v been running on a generator at home and just recently returned from a hotel so it was either that or freeze with no power.
Second of all..
for a heads up I would like to let you know on certain days I can be a very great quoter or poet so maybe that will come in handy on here. My recent quote was last night when I suspected the mirror talking to Kiru.
Today (2/7/10) I decided to sign up for blogger as my girl friend had begged me.
So she says I'm expressive; but I don't know. Maybe I am or maybe she just thinks I am so will see about it when I get further into my blogging.
I'd like to start off with how my weekend has been. This week has been cold, snowy, horrid, and wreckfull ever since that 18 inches of snow came. I'v been running on a generator at home and just recently returned from a hotel so it was either that or freeze with no power.
Second of all..
for a heads up I would like to let you know on certain days I can be a very great quoter or poet so maybe that will come in handy on here. My recent quote was last night when I suspected the mirror talking to Kiru.
Look very closely. Do you see it?
-Quote-
"With words that are to much to say or either your speachless..Internet"
So anyways right now I'm up at the colleg feeding on the only building with power and internet. Would a Malaysion even last in this weather?
Yeah...that was AFTER it got plowed, you should see thae road O.O.
Wellp ciao for now peeps.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
