The Open Emotion Event (Past Post)

the open emotion event.
The most emotional even in my life know so far and people don't know it but i still feel deep in stress that every minute I'm in this class being reminded of the feelings, I just want to have a breakdown of tears. my last two months have been the worst and it was all so unexpected.

First off every morning day and night I would get things done real quick so I could get on the computer to talk to all my long distance friends and honestly I think I love them more than my close friends because when I'm talking to people of a type that are rare to find I feel comfortable, especially when I made a best friend/ pen pal and maybe even a girl friend because to me even if something is either for or near I believe distance doesn't matter and cant beet love.

My best friend, We use to talk forever when we got the chance even if it met getting up at five AM in the morning because she was hours ahead of me, I even did it during school days. But anyways getting to the point, her name was Samantha Lee Blair and she was the kind of person not a lot of people like and i felt sorry for her, I'd do anything to help her even if it meant traveling there.

She had always told me how much of a smart, poetic, charming, caring and on and on stuff kinda person i was and even told her I love her from the heart, but also in time, in time of love forever till the end of what never ends, my favorite line to a woman like her.

About a few months later things started getting worse and a week later I started to get worried about her because we hadn't talked for a while. On that very day she left me a message online saying that she needed to talk to me immediately and that it was really important, but at the time i was busy so I didn't have the time to talk.

Abut a month later her friends got online and searched for me forever just to tell me...the girl of my dreams was dead..*starts to cry* and had killed her self, bleeding out blood in a bath room from her wrist by razor blades.

All I did after that was cry and screamed like I never would before. After so I talked to my parents about it and they worried about me. My depression was so deep I couldn't sleep so i stayed up on the couch in the living room just sitting there starring off and thinking things far beyond what I ever have bfore about life and death and belief, thoughts that could give others heart attacks as it had given me pain due to my horrible inflammatory.

I sat for 7 hours without movement till i finally blew into tears again and finally gave into my will and work and started slowing don in school more but faith was still there with me. every day or weekend or so something would happen or someone would say something that reminded me of her in every way and I'd cry for just a bit.

And to make things worse while in my depression my girl friend jessica got pregnant on me which unremittingly made her UN pure for me anymore, and at the same time i was fighting with her and my best est friend but that's another story to tell. *Sorry for no spell check* ;D